I treat this blog a lot like I would a diary. I know people probably do not care and I do not care if they read it. I like to think that maybe my life advice to myself will someday help other people. Because I do in fact want to help others in any way I can.
I am done with the woah is me my life sucks blah blah blah, I am just overdramatic. So Nina… what are you doing with your life to make someone else’s better? Who did you make happy? Who did you touch and helped them for the better?
I cannot answer these questions… I need to find them out though. I am done caring about what and who will make me happy. Chasing a fairytale dream will never work that way. I guess it comes to that, through out my life everything was just a big fairytale. I guess reality hit me and knocked me to the ground. So I think its time to take each day and do a little to make someone happy, Its always the littlest things in life that are the big things.
I am human, I make many mistakes, some I regret others I don’t. I will always regret the mistake I had made but I will not let it be what defines me as a person. Thats what is wrong with this world. We put people on these pedestals so when they slip and fall they fall hard and crash into the ground. We are all human and we all mess up from time to time. What sets us apart from others is how we handle these situations, whether you are the one messing up or the one who was hurt by the one who messed up. I personally have always been one to give out chances like sticks of gum, always willing to forgive and move forward. I know what its like to make mistakes and lose someone because of it, I have seen it first hand and third hand. Never go to bed angry, never burn bridges. You may always regret that. I know I messed up. I owned my mistake. If I am nothing to you now I understand, I have been there and felt that. I personally could never let someone so important to me go without understanding or listening. Make your assumptions, believe your beliefs but at the end of the day we are all human we all make mistakes. No one is perfect, i will never pretend I am, forgive people because they are not because one mistake should not be the only deciding factor in situations.
Lately I have been feeling as though I am growing up extremely fast only in a short amount of time. I’ve known what it really means to be an adult and have many responsibilities. I’ve always been a very responsible person and been willing to take on more than I can chew but lately I’ve been stressed out beyond belief. I’ve moved, obtained bills, got a new job, & taking many classes. I honestly do not have time to mess around and play games with things in my life. I can be on the edge of making decisions. Every choice I make has a huge impact on my life and that scares me. I do not have the time nor energy to play games.
Idk how your okay. Idk how you are moving on as if nothing ever happened. I’m baffled how you don’t even miss me.
I miss that butterfly feeling I would get when you would smile,
I miss the way it felt like your kiss would linger for a while
I miss all those tickle fights
and all those late nights
I miss your presence when I am feeling down
I miss every bit of you
I miss your laugh, your voice, you eyes
I miss the jokes we had and the games we’d play
I most of all miss having you around
why’d you have to go away.
You took a part of me with you, I don’t necessarily want it back. Because I still wouldn;t be complete without you.
It’s not that I don’t believe in love because I’ve felt it in myself I’ve felt what it was like to love someone with everything you have and wanting their happiness over your own. But what I don’t believe is that love can always be fair your always gonna love someone more than they love you. You must be careful who you fall in love with bc they may never love you back so love exists but being willing to take that chance over and over again after constant betrayal and disappointment isn’t about love it’s about strength. And I don’t know if I’m strong enough anymore.
uThe hardest part about moving on is getting started with it. It’s like after you’ve been sick on the couch for a week. You have to finally get up and get a shower and get on with your life. You move slow at first you don’t really want to move. But once you do move, you wash away the germs, you feel fantastic. I guess that’s how it is with heartbreak it’s kind of like an illness. You just have to get your rest but soon you gotta get your ass off the couch get in the shower and get shit done.
